Sunday, February 21, 2010

To Boldy Go

We heard a loud low rumble tonight and I had to look around the house to make sure everything was alright. Kirsten said it was the space shuttle landing at Cape Canaveral. She started explaining what that meant, but I was way ahead of her. Dogs have always been ahead of people in space travel. Every puppy old enough to bite his brother's tail knows that a dog was the first living thing to launch into space. Many a brave canine orbited the Earth before any people made it up that way. If you ask an eight week old what they'd like to do when they grow up space exploration is one of the most common answers, especially from the spunky ones. Lately my running and jumping restrictions have brought all my puppy dreams of being an astronaut back to me. A good romp on the moon would be just the thing for me right now, and I'm just certain the folks on the International Space Station need someone to play fetch with. I've been working out all the zero gravity modifications in my head, and I know I'd do a good job at that. The other morning I woke up from one of these dreams as sure as a juicy bone that it had come true somehow. I grabbed the first ball I could find and told Kirsten to give it a throw. She threw it like a pitcher with the bases loaded and I went leaping and bounding after it. I was still pretty tired at the time but I remember quite well that that's what happened. Kirsten suggested to me that it may have been more of a gentle toss followed by a rather light scamper, but she's always so conservative with her stories. When one has put in so much work to master walking on tile and hopping up single small steps one may, I admit, put a little too much emphasis on further improvements, but one is entitled to that. When I scamper I'm scampering on the moon because I know what it's like to work much harder for much less movement. When I'm ready—when my bones are healed and my muscles are stronger—well, I just hope you're ready for Rocket Ship Fern when that day comes. I'll have some blasting off to do when it's time.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Tyranny of the Typist

Kirsten has decided that if she is going to be my typist I must let her have a say now and again. I don't think this is entirely fair. Keyboards were designed by the fingered, and its hardly my fault that as the world turns I do not have the ability to key in a letter without four unwanted others appearing along with it. One shouldn't be penalized for the paws one was born with. As life is not always what it should be, however, I must sacrifice some of my reader's valuable time for her whims. You'll have to forgive her if her imagination isn't up to yours or mine--she is ever so practical sometimes. Oiu nvkljnhpw bu6t9ou;pll vbge OPAQoicewnt. She said she would stop typing if I made too much of a fuss about this, and the previous sentence was my attempt to get by own my own. Let us, then, move onto the substance as chosen by Kirsten.

Today the windows were open to a lovely brisk Florida winter afternoon, and the house was filling up with the smell of Kirsten's freshly baked bread. I still don't understand why anyone would make food at all when he or she could just have it brought to him or her at meal times, but Kirsten says it doesn't work that way for everyone. Her before mentioned bread is quite tasty (I'll admit freely), but she seems to be especially charmed by it and thought others might want to make it themselves. If you are one of those unfortunate souls for whom the old food dish does not fill up on its own, you may want to consider this as a viable source of nourishment. The following is a recipe for a bread machine to make oatmeal bread. Kirsten originally found it on the internet, and it can still be found here.

Grandma's Oatmeal Bread

By Diana Rattray, Guide


  • 1 cup water, boiling
  • 1/2 cup oats, old-fashioned
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 3 tablespoons honey
  • 1 tablespoon dark molasses
  • 1 large egg, lightly beaten
  • 3 cups bread flour (or 2 cups bread flour and 1 cup whole wheat flour)
  • 2 teaspoons yeast, sprinkled over flour


Put oats in a mixing bowl; pour boiling water over the oats. When oats have cooled but are still a bit warm, add remaining ingredients according to bread machine manufacturer's manual. Bake on light setting. Makes a 1 1/2-pound loaf.

May all your eatings be grand,
Fern (and Kirsten)